It's sad, because it's all true...

So the dreadful time of potty training has arrived! The little champ has plenty of accidents, but loves his big boy underwear to my relief. We have done quite a few, not to mention long, outings without any accidents and I have been oh so proud! When ever he decides that play time is much more important than taking a few precious seconds out of his day to go to the restroom we have the much dreaded accident BUT these accidents are always just wet, NEVER poop, so hey! What can I say? I am proud of that! Well, on this particular beautiful sunny (but rather chilly) day we ventured to Kid to Kid to do a little much needed shopping! Zach played so happily with another little boy just his age. I shopped in peace, it was spectacular. All the sudden a horrid smell came lurking from round the corner. Could it be? NO! Please no! Yes, yes it could. "Zach?" I call. "Becca I had an assydent" Zach admitted a little shamefully-but not near as shamefully as he should have. I had no idea what was about to hit me. So we run, well waddle, holding zach's hand in one hand, baby carrier on one elbow, clothes in other hand and massive purse on one shoulder. "Hold the rest Zach, we are almost there!" ha, how little did I know! We get to the bathroom, after leading a lovely trail of Zach's new aroma around the store and then BAM, it is Locked! We are at a kid store people, really? Must you lock it? "Excuse me, can you unlock it ma'am" Trying to sound calm but the fear in my eyes I'm sure told otherwise. Alas! We are in and ready to go! I take down his pants, no, no-really, Zach? REally?? POOP-and smooshy poop at that, along with a good liter full of pee everywhere. What will I do? Ok first thing first, strip 'em down, wipe 'em up! Even for a mother this is indeed gross. Well, lets see definitely not going to be putting cute little Buzz Light Year poopy pants in my purse to be washed later-in the trash it goes! Now for the pants? I suppose I will wrap it in lovely little ball and toss it in my marry poppins purse-I see it must be. Done and done. Oh wait, Zach is now naked from waste down. Crap. OK no problem, throw Connor's extra diaper on him, let’s be real Connor is almost his size anyway, slap his shoes and socks on and let him sport his lean legs today despite the frigid air, hey don’t look at me, I mean he is only going to be outside for a second before we get to the car, right? No biggy. So his little pant less self marched out proud. Sweatshirt, chicken legs, socks, tenny’s. Lookin’ good Zach, lookin’ good. Ok, I am done with that hurdle; I am going to continue shopping. So I continued while disregarding all the looks my pant-less boy was undoubtedly getting. And I am done! Register-check! Ok so it is time to go to the end of the story. Wrong. Oh soooo Wrong. The story has JUST begun. “Zach, it’s time to go! I’m all done!” I hollered. “No, I paying with friend, I not done yet, I pay a wittle be wonger” Zach exclaimed. So I did what every good mother does, I kept my cool said ever so gently “sorry buddy time to go” grabbed his hand and dragged his limp-but still fighting back- body out the door-of course nearly stumbling the whole way with the car seat on one arm purse on one shoulder and bag of clothes on the other! I’m sure people loved watching this 13 year old mother go through this horrid struggle. So we are outside, surely I can release him, the car is nearly 5 feet away and I have bribed him with candy if he is a good boy. And reeeleaase! And he is OFFF! Wait he is in a race? Nobody told me. Zach took off running like he was the fastest 3 year old Olympic runner there was. He thought it was just bundles of fun as he giggled and yelled “I’m wunning away! You can’t catch mee, giggle, giggle” Oh that silly barelegged boy, he’ll come back-I’m not chasing him.”Zach, please come back” hmm he isn’t coming back getting further and further let’s try this again, Connor is getting reallll heavy “Zach, STOP, come back! I will get you prizes and toys and candy! Come on!” He is a good 4 stores down at this point. A friendly looking man is walking up to a near store, please pick him up, please stop him, I’m thinking-why didn’t I say that out loud, hmm wish I knew. That man yells out a “he’s a fast one! Ha ha” yes, yes sir he is-now pick him up already-but no, of course I replied “ha, I know! He is crazy.” He continues to run, and at this point his just a little to small diaper has come unstrapped from one side and is now just relaxing on one ankle, of course to my luck causing him no problems and his speed continues ever so quickly. Still running-just now half naked in the 30 degree weather and the sidewalk is running out, at this point it is just plane dangerous. He is so far that if he runs in to the street there is no way I am going to catch up to him. Think fast. Only one choice. Leave my purse. Leave Connor, and run for his life. I did it in a split second. I hastily laid the car seat down, my purchase and my purse. I look up, and Zach is gone. No time for my heart to sink, I must run like I have never run before, thank goodness I did not wear boots or heals that day. So I ran, and I ran and I ran. There was no use in screaming for him anymore-he would only run faster and he was a good football field or more away. I turned the corner just as he jotted out into the street “NO ZACH, NO!!” I caught up to him and grabbed his half naked body in the street just praying my little innocent Connor was still there and ok. I knew at this point if I showed Zach I was mad in anyway he would just try to get out of my arms and rebel more. I was so out of breath and ready to take a breather-but without a second thought I had to run back to my precious baby and this time with a mean 26lb weight in my arms. Here goes. Running, connor still out of sight, turn the corner, turn the next corner, look up and there he was, a man. I knew immediately he meant no harm and he was there to help. The relief set it. How kind. Do I have to keep running, I am going to pass out, dangit Zach stop struggling! I come to a fast walk and give a pathetic out of breath yell “thhaanks” to the man. I get to Connor and the man reassures me “I was going to take after the boy for you, but when I saw you take off I thought I better stay with the baby for you.” Wow, Connors guardian angle. “ Thank you so so so so much sir, you have no idea, I really appreciate it” and he was off with a smile and a wave “no problem!” I look up, still holding tight onto Zach’s arm who of course is yelling “wet goooo, you erttting me!!! Stopppppp” only to see that my car is still a good 4 or 5 stores down, ugh. This is going to be fun. I am out of breath and now get to carry about 70 treacherous pounds worth of stuff not to mention 26 of the pounds fighting back the whole time, to the car. And off I went. So my friends the moral of this story is don’t ever get brave and venture out when you have a wild child like Zach. The End. Oh and yes he was in time out for a very very long time.